Oxymorons don't work in relationships
by Gerkyhen
Summary: Sasuke just told the woman he loves that he hates her...not the answer she was really expecting. Sakura leaves and Sasuke soon realises that he's going to have to lose his cool and do some pretty huge things if he wants to keep the woman that he loves. Yeah, oxymorons really don't work in relationships. AU Romcom. Sasuke/Sakura POV alternating.
1. Beginning of the end

Oxymorons don't work in a relationship  
**Chapter 1:**  
_Beginning of the end_

* * *

_In which Sasuke doesn't read the signs and Sakura finally flies off the handle._

* * *

Sasuke's POV  
"You see that's the thing! Already both Karin and Naruto seem so...so **placated**. Like nothing is even important anymore. Did you see them share any meaningful looks over the dinner table?"

This is a rhetorical question. After seven years with Sakura, I know this, so I remain quiet and continue waiting for our car to be brought round.

"I didn't. Not **one**look completely filled with love that it was practically overfilling. Did you see anything like that Sasuke?"

The car's finally here, a chubby ginger haired guy nods at me as he steps out and I push a few dollar bills into his hand before making my way into my vehicle. Sakura joins me, scrambling through her purple clutch purse for something as the lights inside the car turn out and I begin pushing the gear stick into reverse. Sakura pulls down the glove box so that a dim green light shines upon her search and I notice her flick a glance at me.

"Are you even listening to me?" She asks.

I look at her quickly as I pull out of the parking lot and into the road.

"Yes." I reply.

"Good," Sakura says, smiling. She retrieves whatever she wanted from her bag and then continues to talk. "That's another thing I noticed, neither of them really paid attention to each other. Naruto was always invested in what you were saying, Karin too. Neither of them showed that sort of attentiveness to each other,"  
_  
No _I agree in my head, my mind flicking back to earlier on in the night when Karin's leg had suddenly rubbed up against mine and then stayed there, despite many efforts to detach myself.

"A year of marriage and already their relationship's like that," Sakura tuts and shakes her head.

"Hn."

"Though," her tone is wistful and she looks out of the window, staring at her reflection. "It would be nice to have something like that."

"A broken relationship?" I raise my eyebrows, my eyes on the road.

"No!" Sakura chuckles and then slaps me slightly. "And they've not got a broken relationship, don't say that. No, what I meant was, it'd be nice to have a wedding and everything. Get all dressed up, feel beautiful. Don't you think Sasuke? That'd be nice?"

I shrug and pull a slight face. Sakura's silent next to me. I flick a look her way and see that she's looking down at her lap, her bubblegum pink locks covering her face.

"We're as good as married," I say and she jerks her head up. "We're the longest running couple too. Outlasted all the married couples so far."

"That we have," Sakura agrees, but she doesn't sound cheered by the fact. She just sounds thoughtful. "As good as married." She repeats quietly.

I stay quiet, but I frown. Thankfully, we're almost home and I resist breathing a sigh of relief as we pull up onto our driveway. Sakura's out ahead of me and she clops her way to the door, opening it and disappearing inside before I'm even out of the car. I follow after silently and head straight to the kitchen. I grab two wine glasses, yank a bottle of red out of the wine rack and then pour before making my way upstairs. Sakura's in the bedroom, in the midst of yanking off her dress, when I enter. She pauses when I come in, but stays silent, ripping the remainder of her dress off over her head. I step closer.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"For what?"

"For whatever I've done."

Sakura chuckles and shakes her head ruefully before taking the glass of red out of my hand and taking a large gulp.

"Come to bed?" She requests and leads me towards the queen-sized bed, removing articles of my clothing as we go.

* * *

Afterwards we lie in content silence, both breathing heavily, her in my arms, her head on my chest.

_I've got the best girlfriend in the world. Here I am, lying in bed with a woman who's only got more intelligent, more beautiful-  
_  
"Sasuke." Sakura's whispering of my name distracts me from my thoughts and I look down at her.

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?" She sits up slightly, tucking her pink hair behind her ears and bringing the duvet up around her chest. She's always done that, doesn't like her boobs. I can't help but roll my eyes at that, after seven years of dating and **still**-

"Why haven't you asked me to marry you?"

She asks it innocently enough, she's even smiling as she asks, but I feel like the enquiry is overflowing with bombs, guns, and weapons of unimaginable power. But I'm Sasuke Uchiha...I can handle this sort of stuff.

"W...what?" Or not.

"Why haven't you asked me to marry you?" Sakura repeats the question, her green eyes staring intensely into mine.

Oh dear God, she actually wants an answer. Fuck fuck fuckaroony. Keep cool Sasuke, keep cool. What sort of question is that to ask at twelve am? A relationship-breaking sort of question it is! Shit. Now, cool down. This is just Sakura, no need to freak out. I look at her. Why haven't I asked her to marry me? She's gorgeous, she's funny, she's very intelligent, she likes fine wines and exercise, she rarely nags, she looks at me like I'm the love of her life...But, there's other things too, she's very uptight at times, she can whine, sometimes she can be so immature and twittery, she can say quite cutting things when she's angry, she takes almost everything to heart-

"I guess, the reason would be,"

Sakura watches me, her expression unreadable.

"It's because..." Suddenly, the reason becomes crystal clear and I smile at her. "It's because I love you, but at the same time...I sorta hate you."

* * *

Sakura's POV

Oh my God. I...I still can't get my head round this. I wipe fiercely at my tears as they cascade down my cheeks, but it's no use, they just keep coming. What sort of psycho **is **Sasuke? He **hates **me? I'm angry, but I am so hurt too. I feel a twist of pain in my heart as I recall what he said to me mere moments ago. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, **I **was out of the bed and half way down the stairs, a bag full of my clothes in one hand, my phone -my hand quickly texting Ino- in the other. Now, I'm in the Volvo, making my way to her's. The car is **technically **Sasuke's, but to hell if I care.

I draw up outside Ino's house, ring on the doorbell and then wait. I don't have to wait long, the door's ripped open a few seconds after I ring and Ino is immediately within sight, her face a mixture of anger and concern.

"What has he done?" She growls, gathering me into the house as I continue sobbing.

In fact, my tears have actually increased since I've got into the house, I start wailing, no proper words coming out, as Ino strokes my back and says soothing things along the lines of, 'I'll chop his balls off for you Sakura' and 'I know hit men'.

Suigetsu, Ino's husband, drifts into the hallway drinking some lemonade from a straw. He stops, takes one look at me and my bag full of clothes and then drifts back into the living room.

"Ok, ok. Calm down sweetie," Ino placates, taking my hands into hers and staring into my eyes. "Now, what happened?"

"He...he..." I take some deep breaths and then let out the truth in one long wail. "He said he hates meeeeeeee!" I burst into fresh tears, my mascara and eyeliner rampaging down my face, leaving rivulets of black upon my pale skin.

"He **what**?" Ino roars.

* * *

Sasuke POV

What the hell just happened? I rub my hands down my face. I am so confused. I feel like I haven't read the script and now I don't know how to react or what to do next. I stall in my pacing as I realise that this must be how Naruto feels every single day of his life. A little stunned by this revelation, I feel a pang of regret for every single time I called him 'dobe'. But on a serious note, what just happened? Seriously. One minute I was explaining to Sakura why I hadn't asked her to marry me yet (an answer which she **requested** to be told) and then the next thing I know, Sakura is out of the bed screaming things about me being an inconsiderate jerk who doesn't understand anything while pelting me with swear words.

I...what? Women are just **strange**. _Then again_...I sit down on the cream couch in our living room and consider the situation. That situation in the car...where she didn't seem pleased about being 'almost married', how she spoke about how it would be 'nice to have something like that' and before that, outside the restaurant, when she was going on about how Karin and Naruto's relationship had changed as a result of marriage...almost as if she was trying to justify something to hersel-shit. My eyes widen as I realise how stupid I've been (and I don't normally admit to stuff like that). Sakura wants to get married...like, she really properly wants to get married. She wanted a solid reason back there, for why we haven't got married yet and I...I told her I **hated** her. Now, I'm not great with social interaction, girls and relationships, but even **I **know that what I've done is one of the stupidest things on earth.

Before I can get up, grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and impale myself, the phone rings. I pick it up.

"Hel-?" The greeting is barely out of my mouth before the person on the other end begins ranting.

"You absolute **arsehole**."

My brow wrinkles. "Oh, hello Ino." I greet, aware I am about to receive a bollocking.

"Hello yourself you moronic piece of horse manure." Ino replies.

I scrunch my eyes closed and tap my free hand against the table. "Bit much for this early in the morning, surely?"

"Oh ho ho!" Ino calls on the other end, not sounding pleased at all. "Do **not **push me Sasuke. What in the **world** were you thinking?" You are on thin ice Uchiha, very veeerrryyy veeeeeerrrrrryyyyy thin ice. Fix this!"

I rub at my forehead and sigh, plonking my head firmly on the wall in front of me. "I want to," I groan. "I will."

"Good," Ino replies. "Because if you don't I will cover you with honey and then I will stand you in front of a bear and a beehive full of angry bees. You. Little. Shite. Go to sleep and rest on this, realise that you're an idiot in the morning and **fix this**." She rings off, leaving me alone with a banging headache and a profound sense of guilt. I glance around, spot my mobile on the kitchen counter and retrieve it. Pressing a few buttons, I reach Sakura's number and try calling. No response. I send a text her way:

**Sakura, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I don't know what was running through my head at the time. What can I do to make it up to you? **

I place the phone down on the counter and slump into my hands, moodily watching the phone from behind my arms. Eventually it chings. Greedily, I snatch it up, scanning the message quickly:

**I don't know Sasuke, because it goes far beyond tonight. You never seem to pick up the signals I send you. I'm going to stay at Ino's for a while; I don't feel like seeing you. I think it would be good if we spent some time apart. **

What? **What**? I stare at the message in horror. What's happening? Sakura is the love of my life and I seem to have messed everything up with a few wrong words. **Shit**. I grab my phone and send another text to her, but she doesn't respond this time. I glance around frantically a few times and then send a message to Ino:

**I'm going to need your help Ino. **

A few seconds pass and then Ino replies:

**You cocking son of a bitch. Call me tomorrow. I'll try and work some magic my end. **

Shit. Apparently oxymorons don't work in relationships.

* * *

_An: So, this is a story I've had on the back burner for ages now (I've actually got about a million AU's on the back burner now, all wanting to be written) and, somehow, this one's actually managed to make it, finally, onto fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you'll enjoy all the chapters to come. Lots of love, Gerkyhen. _


	2. Behind Every Great Man

Oxymorons don't work in a relationship  
**Chapter 2:  
**_Behind Every Great Man Is A Woman Rolling Her Eyes  
_

* * *

_In which there are way too many movie quotes and the plan begins.  
_

* * *

Sasuke's POV  
After a sleepless night, I eagerly greet the morning, aware that today could be the day that I either make or break my -now very fragile- relationship with Sakura. It's only seven am and I know for a fact that neither Ino nor Suigetsu will be up at this time. Suigetsu only works on Monday and Tuesday and Ino doesn't work at all, apart from the volunteer work she does from time to time, meaning their usual rising hour harked more towards the eleven o' clock mark than the seven. Ino's dad owns a multimillion dollar industry with two of his friends and he is more than happy to fund his only daughter's living expenses, even though she married possibly the worst candidate ever for the respectable son in law award (nothing against Suigetsu though, he's one of my best friends, has been for a long time).

I sigh and then roll onto my back, staring up at the wooden ceiling as I wonder whether Sakura is up yet.

Well, there's no use just lying around. I get out of bed, pull some jeans on and then pad downstairs to the kitchen. I'm pouring myself a black coffee when my phone suddenly rings. Hoping that it may be Sakura suddenly having a change of heart, I sprint to the phone. My face drops at the voice on the other hand.

"Sasuke!"

Karin. Karin who has pursued me for years now. Karin who is married to one of my best friends, but doesn't see that as anything that should put her off chasing me. Karin, just...Karin.

"Karin." I reply, my voice mimicking the way I was saying her name in my head, as if I was a voiceover in a commercial about the common cold being way more deadly than it first seems.

Karin is not put off by my unshielded disappointment and batters on, getting into the good stuff before the sun has even had time to rise fully.

"I heard you split up with Sakura!"

I tense, my forehead knits together, and I knead at the bridge of my nose. "Did you? From who?"

"Oh everyone knows," she replies airily. "I'm so sorry Sasuke!" _Liar. _"Do you want me to come round?"

"No I do not," I say matter of factly. "And I think you should know that I have not actually separated from Sakura."

There's silence from the other end and then Karin speaks, doubt in her voice, as if she doesn't think I've grasped the situation properly.

"She left your house in the middle of the night." She tells me.

"Yes." I agree.

There's another silence; I begin to get irritated. "Is that the only reason you called?" I demand.

Another lengthy silence. I (someone who usually prefers silence to chatter) feel like punching a table or a baby...or a puppy.

"Yes." Karin reveals.

"Oh, okay then. Goodbye Karin." I reply immediately.

"Goodbye Sasuke! And if you ever feel the need to come round or if you ever want me to come ro-"

I put the phone down while she's still babbling on and then slump down onto a bar seat by the kitchen counter.

* * *

Ok, I've given them enough time now; at ten am, I ring Suigetsu and Ino's. The phone picks up and Suigetsu answers.

"Yello."

"Suigetsu." I spring quickly.

"Ah, Romeo himself!" Suigetsu replies. "How you doin' bro?"

"How do you think?" I retort. "Is Sakura in?"

"Yeah, she's up in the guest bedroom cutting your head out of pictures." Suigetsu responds solemnly.

"**What**?" I yelp. I mean, I know I insulted her a little, but surely, **that's **a little, well, crazy?

"Aha!" Suigetsu laughs. "Just kidding dude, but she is in. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Yes," I say immediately before quickly retracting my affirmation. "No!" I know Sakura, if she knows it's me on the other end of the line, she'll never pick up. What to do... "Ok, put her on, but don't tell her it's me." I instruct Suigetsu.

"Can do boss," Suigetsu replies before taking a deep breath. "SAAAAAKKKUUURRRRRAAAAAAAA!" He yells, his voice blasts out of the phone and explodes my eardrum.

"Suigetsu you stupid fuck-" I go quiet when I hear Sakura answer Suigetsu's call.

"Yes?"

"There's someone on the phone for you." Suigetsu says.

"Who?" Sakura asks, obviously coming closer as her voice becomes louder.

My heart begins to pound.

"Just...someone." Suigetsu replies evasively and then Sakura's on the phone.

"Hello?"

Oh God, I miss her so much already. This is weird, I'm not usually the one to fawn over people, usually people fawn over me, now I'm getting a lesson in what it's like to be the 'fawner'...I'm pretty sure I don't like it.

"Hello?" Sakura repeats.

Oh, shit. I have to answer. I gulp and then, "Helloooooo." What in the shitting hell was that? My eyes flick around wildly as I come out with the silliest voice possible. Why have I put on a silly voice? What have I **done**?

There's quiet on the other end for a while and then Sakura speaks again.

"Sasuke is that you?"

"Nooo." I reply in my high-pitched voice. So...apparently, I'm running with this now. _**WHY**_? I curse myself mentally as I wait for Sakura's response.

"Yes it is," she replies to my denial. "What's the matter with you Sasuke? Is this all a big joke to you? Calling up and putting stupid voices on, it's not even like you! It's like you've gone out of your way to annoy and upset me." And then the phone's slammed down, I feel a piece of my heart crack.

I stand there, receiver in hand, and curse myself. Why on **earth **did I put on a silly voice? I'm just about to crack the phone against my head when it rings. I pick up.

"Yes?" I say, my heart feeling like a dead weight in my chest.

"**That **didn't seem to go so well." Suigetsu's voice resounds into my ear.

"It didn't." I agree.

"What happened?"

"I...For some reason I put on a stupid voice." I scrunch my eyes closed as I say this, well aware what the reaction will be...

"**What**?" Suigetsu exclaims and then he bursts out laughing, his chuckling filling the receiver.

I glare at the wall as his laughter goes on for almost a full minute and then he speaks again, amusement still in his voice.

"What did the voice sound like?" He requests.

"I'm not **repeating **it," I spit back. "It was a stupid lapse of judgement. Nerves."

"Sasuke Uchiha gets **nervous**?" Suigetsu says in a faux shocked way, before he giggles again. "Go on Sasuke, **please**?"

I sigh, grumble a little and then speak. "I said hello like 'heelllloooo'." I put on the high-pitched voice again, much to Suigetsu's delight.

My best friend absolutely honks with laughter, hurting my ear as he guffaws down the line.

"Oh my God Sasuke!" he exclaims breathlessly, in between laughing. "I...I feel for you, but that has to be the **funniest **thing I have ever heard."

"Hn." I reply moodily.

Suigetsu continues on, ignoring my obvious bad mood. "Because the voice is hilarious enough right? But the fact that you...that you..." he stops talking as he erupts into more laughter, but eventually recovers and speaks once more. Not that I want him to. "That you put it on because you were **nervous **and to the girl you want back no less! Priceless!"

"Yes, yes, my whole world falling apart is just hilarious." I shoot back.

"Sorry Sasuke," Suigetsu replies not sounding sorry at all. "But it is sort of your fault."

Ouch.

"Hn," I grumble back, not in the mood to admit that I suck at relationships. "Look could you just put your lovely wife on please? She asked me to call her."

"I doubt you were meant to talk to Sakura in a silly voice beforehand but sure." Suigetsu says in return and then takes in a deep breath.

I get the phone away from my ear just in time and only hear the faintest 'IIIIINNOOOOOO!' as a result. Thanking God I place the phone back to my ear, only to be met by a barrage of insults.

"You complete and utter **twonk**. What have you done now, you blithering excuse for a _Homosapien_?" Ino's voice comes roaring down the line and I wince as her yells pulverise my already destroyed eardrum.

"It was an accident," I defend. "I panicked."

"You've never panicked before! You didn't even panic when we were on that trip to Florida and the car went careering off the road! You have **no **excuse," Ino retorts angrily. "And now you've set her off again!"

"Sakura?" I check.

"Who bloody else?" Ino yells back. "The queen of bloody England? Of **course **Sakura! You are in deep doodoo Uchiha."

"Ugh." I hunch over and pile my head into my arms. I am crap at this reconciling thing. I'm great at **rejecting** bids to reconcile, but clearly, I suck when the shoe's on the other foot.

"You are going to have to do something major if you want her back Sasuke," Ino says, her voice becoming softer. "She's more upset than I've ever seen her...and I saw her when Idate dumped her on prom night."

I let out a groan and lift my head in order to hit it against the wall. "But what can I do?" I request. "She doesn't even want to **speak **to me."

"Well, that's the thing; I've always thought that the best way to profess love is not through talking, but through **showing**."

A jolt of dread sparks through me and my head snaps up. "Oh no," I mutter. "Not some over the top, smoochy, vomit inducing-"

"That's right!" Ino yelps excitedly over me. "**Huge **public displays of affection! Whoo!"

_Noo_. I hit my head against the wall again. Apparently, I suck at **private **displays of affection, how on earth does Ino think I can handle public ones?

"And of course," Ino's voice radiates out to me once again.

Oh...here's how.

"I'll help you every step of the way!"

The jolt of dread becomes a full-blown electric storm within me and I resume with banging my head against the wall, bumping out a beat that Bob Marley would be proud of...while also causing myself such intense head injury that Tsunade (my resident doctor and all round boobarella) would most likely cry.

"Now, this is going to need some intense planning. Are you free today?" Ino continues trilling, apparently, she does not care about the fact I'd rather hold my head under water for a sustained amount of time than declare my love for Sakura in front of a crowd of gushing (or mocking) bystanders.

"Oi, Sasuke! I **said **are you free today?" Ino repeats.

I glance at my diary (though I know for a fact that I am, indeed, free) and then grit my teeth. "Yes. I'm free." I reply unenthusiastically.

"Brilliant," Ino says happily. "Come to mine, on the double."

"Will Suigetsu be there?" I ask pitifully.

Ino lets out a loud sigh. "No Sasuke, Suigetsu will not be there to mock you relentlessly; he's going out with friends."

"I wasn't worried about being mocked." I reply (read **lie**).

"Ok then and I'm the virgin queen of Sheba," Ino responds breezily. "Just hurry up."

I sigh, bid my farewell and then put the phone down. Great...time to plan the most humiliating day of my life...with one of the most violent women I've ever met. If I don't agree to Ino's terms I have no doubts that she will make her disdain obvious to me through actions with her fists.

* * *

Later on (**much **later on; in her fit of fury Sakura drove off in **my **Volvo, meaning I had to take the bus) I turn up at Ino's. As soon as I ring on the bell, she rips the door open. She looks me up and down with a sneer and then speaks.

"I want to hurt you physically." She remarks.

"Great." I reply and she moves aside to let me enter her house.

I move from the wooden floored hallways into the large living room/dining room area and then take a seat on one of their plush white couches. Ino follows and then sits down opposite me.

"Ok," she announces. "Even though I want to bite your nose off for being such a blimming idiot, I also want to help you. You made Sakura very happy and I don't want her to do anything brash. **However**, I have been Sakura's best friend for a long time and I am aware that her impulse, once hurt, is to simply hide away. She also holds the hugest grudges so it's going to take a while to get into her hard shell."

"Hard shell?" I repeat. "What hard shell?"

"The hard shell that completely disappeared when she met you," Ino says, not hiding the disdain in her voice. She does not like me right now. "She thought you were nice -ha-, sophisticated, intelligent, cool, calm and like totally hot. So, of course, you've had the privilege to see her soft squishy side since the day you met."

Huh.

"Oh." Is all I manage.

"**Yes**," Ino nods her head, acting as if I'm dumb or a baby...or both. "Realising that you just cocked up a relationship with the most besotted woman ever are you?"

"Hey," I retort, my eyebrow twitching. "I'm besotted too."

"Yeah, well, you sure as hell don't show it." Ino replies.

"What do you mean?" I question, getting the feeling that her statement has more weight to it than it initially gives away.

"During all your seven years of dating did it not occur to you **once **that Sakura may have wanted to get married?" Ino says.

I frown and purse my lips. Sakura always gave off the impression that she was too above the whole marriage thing. She's so collected and together in front of me that I always presumed she didn't feel like she **needed **a piece of paper to prove our love was real. Sakura could be soppy and sappy, but that was usually about puppies or other people's relationships. I didn't think...I pause in my current thoughts and then cringe. _Yeah, I really didn't think. _

"Who set up everything for each and every single anniversary?" Ino continues.

"...Sakura." I say, now aware where this is heading...and I'm definitely sure I don't like it.

"Who was the one that initiated every single double date?" Ino barrages on, aware that I am now feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

"Sakura." I say again.

"Who was the one that basically provided **all **of the romance all of the time?"

"Sakura," I admit. "But...I did do some stuff, like that holiday to Spain?"

"Sasuke," Ino sighs. "Doing some stuff, occasionally, is just not the good foundation for a relationship. You've got to keep the love alive. I know marriage may not seem like a big deal to you, but it means the world to Sakura,"

I stay quiet, taking this all in. How could I have read so many things wrong? _Oh yeah, that's right, because I'm an asshole. _

"Did you know she's dreamt of getting married since we were kids? And you were her perfect guy. She's put so much into your relationship, she deserves more," Ino's voice is soft and she leans forward as she continues. "Sasuke, you and Sakura are great together. Not as great as me and Suigetsu, but that's ok,"

I roll my eyes at this, but let her continue.

"Listen, I **want **you to be with Sakura. I know you both love each other, all this means is that you're going to have to do a hell of a lot to win her back."

"Do you think she's been thinking all of this?" I question. "That I don't put anything into the relationship and all that?"

"She's been **saying **it," Ino responds. "Let alone just thinking it. She doesn't want to be taken for granted. She **shouldn't **be taken for granted and I know you didn't mean to, in a million years, take her for granted; you love her. You are who you are because of her. She is every reason, every hope, and every dream you've ever had, and no matter what happens to you two in the future, everyday you're with her is the greatest day of your life. You will always be her's." Ino's face takes on a dreamy look and she lets out a content sigh.

"Isn't that a quote from _The Notebook_?" I ask.

Ino snaps out of her reverie and then tuts. "Not the point," she hisses. "Look, we need to fix this."

"Yes," I agree, at loathe to annoy the blonde before me again. "But how?"

"You are so completely retarded in the romance area," Ino replies. "But I have a plan that will help you!"

"Oh gee, great." I manage, attempting not to be offended by her comments.

"It goes like this, a multitude of different, highly romantic PDA's (public displays of affection),"

I shudder.

"That end up with you proposing to her in front of thousands of people!"

"Pr...proposing?" I squeak out, highly uncharacteristic of me.

"Oh yes Sasuke," Ino nods formally and her long side fringe sways as she does so. "This has to end with a marriage because otherwise there'll be an end to your relationship and I **know **that's not what you want. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to just love and be loved in return."

"Isn't that from Moulin Rouge?"

Ino squares her shoulders and glares at me furiously. "We are who we choose to be." She retorts.

"That's from Spiderman," I say. "And is also completely irrelevant."

"Sasuke," she growls. "Shut up."

I think I will.

* * *

_AN: So hi again! Thank you to the three so far who have reviewed and also thank you to everyone who has began following the story or has favourited it! It means a lot to me. Yeah, there were a lot of movie quotes (indeed, the title of this chapter is a quote from Bruce Almighty) in this, and, of course, I do not own those quotes, nor do I own Naruto sadly. But yeah, anyway, thank you for reading and I'd love a review if you liked it :3 Thanks anyway! -G_


	3. Strippers and incorrect windows

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter 3:  
**_Strippers and incorrect windows_

* * *

_In which Sakura has a little too much and Suigetsu is treated to a serenade.  
_

* * *

Sasuke's POV

"Ok then!"

After a while of me waiting, Ino finally reappears back into the living room. I set down my glass of wine and watch her obediently as she re-enters , her arms bulging with paper, folders and what looks like a tape recorder.

"So, the be all and end all of this is that you are going to have to propose to Sakura."

"Uuh." I reply non-committed way. Not because I don't want to marry Sakura, more because I know the proposal is going to have to come with about a million bells and whistles attached to it...in front of **people**. I shudder, the very things I deplore.

Ino fixes me with a dark look and I am forced to nod my head in an enthusiastic way.

"Good," she says before spreading out all of the paper and folders on the coffee table before us. She also sets down the tape recorder. "So, as I know you are a newcomer in the realms of romance -and apparently normal human interaction as well- I have brought a few notes to help you out,"

_A few? _I look down at the huge amount of papers and then back up at Ino.

"Shut up," she says breezily even though I haven't said anything. "Now then," she grabs some pieces of paper up and peruses them before looking back at me. "I'm going to read some ideas out and you can say yes or no accordingly. I will then write down what **I **think is within the realms of possibility, ignoring everything you have said,"

I don't reply...there's no point really.

Ino's teal coloured eyes scan the words on the paper before her and then she looks up. "How would you feel about riding sharks towards her, holding up a banner that says 'I love you Sakura. I'm sorry!'?"

_What? _I stare at her in utter confusion and bewilderment. Ino returns my look, but she can't keep it up and eventually she sighs loudly.

"God sorry!" She growls. "I'll put it on the maybe list."

"No, don't do that," I say.

She looks up hopefully. Gosh, she really wants to do this shark thing doesn't she? I'm a little worried now, this is only the first idea and it's, without a doubt, the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my life...and I've known Naruto since I was in diapers. (Came out of diapers first by the way, quicker than every other kid my age that my mother knew...ha.)

"Put it on the never ever ever in a million years ever will Sasuke do that ever list." I instruct and then take a long swig of my wine.

Ino glares at me steadily, but I return the look with one of my own steely glares and, yet again, defeat her. Causing the blonde to sigh loudly, she flicks through more pieces of paper before stabbing at a line of words viciously with a finger.

"Ok! How about...she and I will book a holiday to somewhere, probably Barbados or somewhere like that and **then**, when we're on the plane, you come running on board with...Tom Jones or someone like that, and he'll sing 'sorry seems to be hardest word' to her!" Ino's red faced with excitement, her eyes wide as she watches for my reaction.

"No." I deadpan.

"Why **noooootttt**?" She whines in response.

"Because I'm pretty sure that running onto an airplane is illegal, even if you have Tom Jones with you." I reply.

"But it'd be so romantic!" Ino gushes.

"And also a terrorist threat." I point out.

"How could Tom Jones singing one of his greatest hits be counted as a terrorist threat?" Ino demands, looking irritated now.

"That's another thing," I respond thoughtfully. "Tom Jones didn't even sing 'sorry seems to be the hardest word', Elton John did. So, not only would we be arrested on suspicion of terrorism, we'd probably get sued by Elton too."

Ino looks at me with utter contempt in her eyes. "I'm starting to root for you and Sakura not getting back together," she warns me.

I throw her a hurt look, but she already has her eyes down at her list, scanning it furiously.

"Ok, got one!" She exclaims.

I stiffen in readiness.

"The mall," She says, creating an imaginary shape in the air with her hands.

I look at her in confusion. "What about the ma-"

"There's a big TV screen in the mall," Ino continues, barrelling right through me. "You record an apology for the big TV screen, I'll lure Sakura to the mall; we'll just so **happen**-" she stops to wink at me. "-to be there, and she'll see your heartfelt apology, in front of millions of people. Walla, she swoons into your arms!"

It's not as bad as sharks or Tom Jones, but it still makes me cringe. My face made huge on a TV screen so that everybody is watching?

"You can't say no to this," Ino growls, obviously noting the worried look on my face. "This is a solid idea and since you're such a wimp-" (I.e. I won't break federal laws.) "-this is the sort of stuff you're going to have to be willing to do."

"Hn," I reply moodily, placing my head in my hand as I watch her scribble down the idea onto the 'definitely' list. "Well, could we maybe start with something smaller?"

"Smaller?" Ino repeats incredulously. "Sasuke, by PDA standards, the TV screen in the mall is positively minute."

"Ok, but you even said that I'm 'newcomer in the realms of romance', shouldn't we start of small?"

Ino stares at me for a few moments before huffing loudly. "**Fine**," she relents. "But small or no, this is still going to have to be a PDA."

I shudder. "Yes," I reply. "I know."

Ino narrows her eyes at me until they become slits and then begins looking down her list again. "Well," she comments thoughtfully. "The only 'small' thing on this list, by way of a PDA, is the band idea."

"Band idea?" I repeat. "What's that?"

"You know the whole wait outside her window with a band and play beautiful music to her." Ino says airily.

"Would I have to sing?" I check.

Ino glowers at me silently for a few seconds. "No...unless you'd like to be a good boyfriend for a change."

"I **am **a good boyfriend." I insist moodily.

"Which is why we're in this predicament in the first place." Ino agrees sarcastically, treating me to a big false grin.

I stay silent, glaring at Ino's armchair for a little bit, before I look up. "Fine, I'll do the band thing."

"And you'll sing?" Ino asks happily.

"...maybe." I reply evasively.

"Yay!" Ino cheers. "Now, you should start organising it!"

"For when?"

"For tonight!"

"Tonight?" I repeat.

"You're like a parrot today." Ino mutters quietly.

I ignore her. "But...how? I mean..."

"Just get **on **it," Ino hisses. "I'll sort out Sakura."

"Fine. Well, I better get going then." I stand and stretch, getting ready to leave.

"Ok, but before you go," Ino taps the tape recorder.

I turn properly and look at it. _I was wondering when this was going to come into it._

"Now I know you've got a quite a few public demonstrations of love to get through first, but I thought I'd just give you a heads up on ideas for proposals." Ino explains.

I wince, but stay silent as Ino clicks the play button on the tape recorder. There's shuffling and then Suigetsu's voice sounds.

"Ino?"

"Yes?" Ino's voice.

Real life Ino mimes along with the words, looking rather teary-eyed.

"Ino Yamanaka, I was wondering if you would do the honour of being my wife."

Ino in real life and tape Ino gasp in unison.

"Yes! Yes! Oh Suigetsu!"

Then the tape clicks off. Ino looks up at me.

"Why was that being recorded?" I question.

"Suigetsu knew I would want him to." Ino replies smartly.

"...right," I say. "Why'd you make me listen to that again?"

Ino looks down at the tape and then back at me before shrugging. "No reason,"

I roll my eyes and then head to the door.

"You're welcome!" Ino calls from the living room.

I sigh heavily. "Thank you for all your help Ino; it's really been an insight." I call back.

Ino chuckles. "No problem Sasuke, just make sure you have the band here tonight."

I shudder, call a farewell and then head out of the door. _Where on earth do you find a band in this town?_

* * *

Sakura's POV

"Ugh, Miss, I think I've broken my cranium,"

I fight to stop myself from sighing and rolling my eyes as Konohamaru, once again, comes staggering into my office. Working in an all boys school is fine...most of the time, if you can learn to ignore the massive amounts of testosterone and the fact that every boy in the whole of the building has some misplaced crush on any woman under the age of fifty. **I **happen to be the only female member of staff in the school. I am also a nurse...the boys like me. A lot. I look at Konohamaru. At least the constant interruptions from boys who are 'ill' is a distraction from my thoughts. Every time I think about what Sasuke said to me, my eyes start to well up. How could he have been so cruel to me? And it's not just that, it's the fact that he felt like it was **ok** to say it to me. As if I have no feelings. How's that for being taken for granted?

"Uuh." Konohamaru moans quietly, snapping my attention back to him.

"Come here," I instruct him.

The young boy steps forward, clutching at his head. I prise his hands away, pull some gloves on, and then inspect the 'injured' area. Nothing. I sigh and step back, snapping my gloves off as I do so.

"Did you really hurt your head?" I enquire.

"I did!" Konohamaru exclaims defensively. "You can't always see wounds Miss! Loads of soldiers in the war used to come back with shell shock and you couldn't see that!"

"That's because shell shock was a psychological injury," I reply in a monotone.

Konohamaru doesn't reply, instead opting to scuff at the ground with his shoe, a moody look on his face.

"Do you happen to have math right now Konohamaru?" I ask.

Konohamaru still doesn't respond, but he does pull a face.

"Well?" I prompt.

"Yes." Konohamaru replies quietly.

"And have you come into my office pretending to have hurt your head because you don't want to go to math." I state.

"Yes..." Konohamaru agrees, but then his head snaps up. "But you don't understand Miss, math gives me shell shock! Mr. Hyuga bores me into submission; it's not fair! It's cruelty to kids Miss!"

I sigh heavily, place my hands on Konohamaru's shoulders, twist him around and the steer him towards the door.

"Go back to math." I instruct him.

"But my **cranium**." He whines in reply.

I glare at him and eventually he huffs and stomps away, muttering something about me not being '**that **hot'. I roll my eyes once more and then go to sit down, only to hear a chorus of whistling from the corridor. Blinking, I get to my feet and pop my head out of the door; there's only one thing that sets off a reaction like that in this school and that's the sight of a woman. And...yep, there's a woman in the school, sashaying her way towards me. An Ino-type woman, probably due to the fact that it actually is Ino. I stare at her in bewilderment; never in all the years I have worked at the school has Ino ever dropped by. The students in the corridors, obviously bunking off from classes, whistle or chat excitedly as my best friend moves steadily towards me. She's not helping things, dressed in a black blouse and a tight purple pencil skirt.

"Go to your classes!" I yell at all the boys crowding round to look at Ino.

"But my cranium!"

"I've hurt my head Miss!"

"I think I've broken my leg!"

"I feel like I may be having my time of the month!"

"How many times Aki?" I demand, turning on a student near me. "Boys do not get periods!"

Aki looks around sheepishly and then runs off just as Ino reaches me, giggling a little to herself.

"I'm a little worried one of them will start humping my leg," she whispers confidentially to me. "How do you deal with this? They're looking at us like sex starved puppies."

"And what would a sex starved puppy look like exactly?" I question as I guide her into my office and shut it behind me. "I can't say I've ever seen one."

"It's just a saying, forehead." Ino replies airily as she sits down on my seat.

"Great," I say, sitting down on one of the hard plastic chairs that my patients have to sit on. "Have you just come here to insult me?"

"Of course not!" Ino coos. "I've come to see if you're alright."

"Oh," I reply dully. "Well...I'm fine. Doing great."

Ino looks at me sadly and then comes swooping round the other side of the desk, arms out. "Don't be sad!" She exclaims, wrapping me into a hug. "Everything's going to work out, I know it."

I bury my face into her arm, trying to stop tears from flowing. Ino makes comforting sounds and strokes my hair before she suddenly pulls me away from her, leaning down so that we are eye to eye.

"I know what'll cheer you up," she grins. "We'll go for a night out! You and me, no pressure."

"I don't know..." I respond. I **did **have plans to watch Bridget Jones' Diary and cry this evening, but...

"Aw, c'mon!" Ino exclaims. "It'll be fun! It'll take your mind off everything."

I look to the side thoughtfully and then glance at Ino, who has an over enthusiastic smile on her face.

"...ok," I relent and then I smile, warming to the idea. "Yeah, we'll go out tonight."

"Yay!" Ino claps her hands together and twirls. "Great! Well, I gotta make a few calls and then I'm meeting Suigetsu for lunch. See you when you get back!"

"Bye." I call after her.

She swishes out of the room, tinkling her hands at me before she disappears from sight.

Yeah...a night out, it'll be fun. I smile and sit back, just as my door cracks open again.

"Miss...?"

"What?"

"My cranium..."

* * *

Sasuke's POV

I'm just looking through the phone book for possible bands to hire when my phone rings. I clunk the huge book down and check the caller ID. Spotting that it's Ino, I pick up.

"Hello?"

"Everything's in order," Ino says immediately. "Sakura's going to come out with me for a few drinks, that'll loosen her up and then we'll be set for you to play a romantic love song to her."

"Hn. Well, make sure she doesn't get too drunk," I respond. "I want her to remember it the next morning."

Ino cackles a little at what **could **have been considered an innuendo, and then she replies, sounding business like. "I know how to handle it," she assures me. "We'll hit a few bars; I'll get her a little tipsy. Maybe a little mopey about you and then we'll head home, where you will be waiting to serenade her with your rendition of 'I will always love you'."

"Not sure if I could hit the high notes." I grunt in reply.

"You could if I put your balls in a vice." Ino retorts sweetly.

"Hn."

"Have you got a band ready yet?"

"Not yet. I'm working on it."

"You better be, I don't think even **I **would be able to stand the awkwardness of you just standing there in the middle of the street, your tiny little voice wavering as you try to gather the courage to sing."

"That was a beautiful picture you painted there, have you ever considered becoming an author?"

"Briefly." She replies and then hangs up.

_Shit. What __**am **__I going to sing?_

* * *

Sakura's POV

Later on and I'm driving home. The day went slowly, seemingly just a constant flow of kids and Rock-Lee and kids and Rock-Lee. All pestering me for different things while looking at my boobs...actually, Rock-Lee didn't look at my boobs, not once. That was unfair of me to say.

As the day had wore on, the idea of going out and getting extremely drunk had started looking more and more tempting so when I get back into the house, I come back enthusiastic.

"Woo! Let's go hit some bars!" I call as soon as I enter.

Ino's standing by the door, a rather startled look on her face before she recovers and smiles. "Well, someone's in a partying mood, but I was actually thinking that we'd just hit **one**bar, chat a little-"

"Let's go to that club, Raunchy!" I shout as I head up the stairs, intent on finding the perfect outfit to party in.

Ino has been trying for the last...well forever, to get me to go to this club called Raunchy, apparently so named because there's strippers everywhere...**male **strippers. What better way to get my mind off relationship troubles?

"C...club Raunchy?" Ino repeats after me, reaching the bottom of the stairs and looking up at me. "Are you sure? I mean, you have work in the morning-"

"Sh sh sh Ino," I tut from her room as I look through all her clothes, some of which could be mistaken for stripper clothes. "We'll go to club Raunchy, let **me** worry about work and all that boring stuff. Now," I arrive on the landing holding a tiny red miniskirt and a white halter neck top. "Get dressed."

* * *

"Sakura! Sakura! Sakura, it's twelve am. Don't you think we should be getting back?"

I roll my eyes as Ino, once again, bugs me about going home. As soon as we were out, Ino steered me towards some dreary little bar and tried to have a heart to heart. I don't get what she's playing at. Usually when one of us is sad, we just drown that sadness in liquor and partying, but tonight she's being really weird. Point in case, she's trying to drag me away from the stripper I am currently grinding on.

Yes...we made it to club Raunchy and yes, there are strippers **everywhere**. Some of them extremely hot. Like the one I am currently with. I'm aware I'm drunk though and realise that Ino might just be trying to save me from a 'beer goggles' moment which I might regret in the morning, but I persist in ignoring her and then ram my tongue down the stripper's mouth. The guy responds immediately, ramming his tongue down my mouth and rubbing his hands all over my body.

"Shall we go?" He asks huskily once we've detached.

I glance over at Ino and see her furiously shaking her head and waving her arms around like a loony, her face desperate. I look back at the stripper.

"Yes." I reply.

I'm definitely drunk, but frankly, as I and my stripper beau -and Ino who **has **to follow me, it's the code of all friendships, never leave your friend alone when she's as drunk as I am currently- stagger into the street, I honestly feel myself not caring.

* * *

Sasuke's POV

"Um, sir? Are you sure you want to do this? You look like you're about to have a cardiac arrest."

I turn stiffly and shoot a glare at the pimply trumpet player who just asked the question. He blanches and goes quiet, shuffling slightly under my steely gaze. Right, it's two am and I'm outside Ino and Suigetsu's house, where I know Sakura is inside. I finally managed to book a band who would play in the middle of the night, risking potential arrest for disturbing the peace. Unfortunately they happen to be the local high school's band club...yeah.

I heave out a great breath and then glance back at the band. "Ok...go," I order.

The band nod and then begin playing the tune of 'Unchained Melody'...I just went with the most romantic song I know...what? It's not like I watched, and enjoyed, Ghost or anything. As the tune begins to grow, I notice the curtains of Sakura's guest room twitch. It's now or never.

"Oooh," I start lamely. I'm essentially talking, but with a slight lilt to my tone. "My love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch-"

The window opens and Suigetsu pops out, resting his elbow on the windowsill and his chin on his hand, he grins down at me. I falter off, but the band persists in playing, obviously intent on earning every single dollar of the twenty dollars I promised them.

"Hey buddy," Suigetsu says. "It's nice that you feel that way, but I'm married."

"Where's Sakura?" I demand through gritted teeth.

The band stop playing now, watching the altercation in front of them with interest.

"Well, this is my bedroom anyway," Suigetsu replies. "But, Sakura isn't home. She and Ino went out and they're still not back."

"**What**?" I glance around, hoping that I haven't woken anyone up, and then I look back to my friend. "It's two am! Ino said she'd have her back in time!"

Suigetsu shrugged. "Sorry dude."

I grit my teeth together and stare at the ground, wondering what on earth to do before I whip my phone out and fire off a text to Ino. I look back up to see Suigetsu smiling at me.

"**What**?" I growl.

"Aren't you going to finish the song?" He asks, his face a picture of innocence. "I was really starting to enjoy that."

I flip him the finger and then clamber into my rent-a-car, ushering the band members to do so as well. Bewildered, the band climb in after me, struggling to fit their instruments and themselves in comfortingly. I glance up at the window again and Suigetsu waves lazily at me, a cheeky grin on his face, and then I pull out of the drive, making sure to smash a plant pot on my way out. I start driving home in silence, the band members all looking at me worriedly.

"I didn't say stop playing," I mutter. "If you want to earn that twenty dollars, you better play 'Unchained Melody'."

The band begin to play Unchained Melody and I slump down further in my seat as I drive home to the scratchiest version of the most romantic song ever.

* * *

_AN: So, hi! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, it really means a lot! And also thank you to everyone who's started following this story or have favourited it! Thank you a lot :)_


	4. Let's go to the mall today!

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter 4:  
**_Let's go to the mall...today!_

* * *

_In which Sakura wakes up and another plan is initialised  
_

* * *

Sakura's POV

"Uuh..."

Slowly, and unwillingly, I awake. My head is pounding, my mouth tastes like rotten meat, my feet are hurting and my stomach is swilling. What the hell did I do last night? In fact, I open my eyes blearily and try to look around, where am I? _Crap, I forgot to take my make-up off _I curse in my head as I peer through mascara-encrusted eyelashes. The only thing I can see is the colour purple. Blinking, I attempt to sit up, but stop when a wave of nausea hits me. I've never been good with hangovers; usually Sasuke has to nurse me for the whole day. I feel a pang when I think of Sasuke, but I resist shaking my head, as I know that will just bring on projectile vomit. I manage to roll over and I realise that I'm lying on a purple couch in a dingy flat. Oh...shit. _This isn't Ino's house. _

_Crap_. Did I go **home **with someone? I glance down and see a figure sleeping on the floor, next to the sofa. For a few seconds I manage to convince myself that _maybe it's Sasuke_! But I can tell almost immediately that it isn't. _Wishful thinking I guess_.

So...shit, I **did **go home with someone. _Who's the lucky guy then? _I guess I should make the best of a bad situation, I can freak out when I get back to Ino's. Where **is **Ino anyway? Shouldn't she have been protecting me from a situation **exactly **like this?

I lean down and peer at the man beside the sofa. He's long and lean, with silvery spiky hair. His hand is covering the bottom half of his face, but from the looks of it, he's pretty hot. I look down at his body and decide he's **definitely **hot. He's only wearing PJ bottoms, so his gorgeous physique is on display. I stop myself drooling. As I leer at him, I realise that there is another presence in the room.

"Ahem,"

I look up and see Ino with two cups of coffee and a disapproving look on her face. "That's not your guy," she says, handing me one of the cups.

_What? _I blink and glance around the room, but there's no one else around.

"There's a **reason **you're sleeping on the sofa Sakura." Ino sighs as she steps over the hot guy on the floor and sits next to me.

_Oooh. _I sip at my coffee, my head pounding, and then look at her. "What happened?" I question.

"You went coo-coo," Ino replies, circling her finger at the side of her head to indicate craziness. "You just drank about a million_ Barcadi_ and cokes and ran off."

_Oops. _"Oh," I mutter. "Sorry,"

Ino shrugs and then we both sip in silence for a while before I look back to her.

"So how'd we end up here?" I enquire.

Ino shudders delicately. "You took a shine to a stripper guy," she answers. "And he took you back here. I, of course, followed. I couldn't just leave you alone with that...**man**."

I feel a rush of affection for my best friend and I outstretch my hand, clasping her wrist. "Is he that bad then?" I ask.

Ino looks at me pointedly.

"Oh God." I wail and clutch the side of my head.

"Hey, don't worry Saks," Ino says airily. "Like I said, I didn't leave you alone,"

I look at her.

"At any point," she continues and then she grins. "It was pretty funny actually, the guy kept implying to me that I should leave-"

"What was I doing?" I interrupt.

"Lolling about on the table talking about fairies or something," Ino answers casually before continuing her story. "But anyway, I just acted like I didn't understand what he was saying, and he couldn't do anything because I kept holding your hand and stuff. So eventually, he just gave up and went to bed."

We giggle for a bit and then I pull a face. "Thank you Ino. I'm sorry for being so stupid last night."

"Hey, don't worry about it!" Ino coos. "I understand."

"Well," I stagger to my feet and look to her. "I guess we better go face the monster."

* * *

Sasuke POV

"Nah, they're still not back dude. Sorry."

I grit my teeth and bang the palm of my hand against my head as I listen to Suigetsu. "Aren't you worried?" I demand down the phone. "It's ten am and they're still not back."

"You sound like you're their dad or something," Suigetsu laughs in response. "Don't worry Sauce, I'm absolutely sure they're fine. They're big girls now. Ino's came back in the evening the next day before."

"But Sakura hasn't." I moan.

"Ino'll look after her." Suigetsu replies confidently.

"But aren't you worried about what they could be doing?" I question. _I am. I am __**very **__worried. Sakura's not exactly in the greatest mindset right now, what was to stop her from going home with someone? Nothing. That's what. _

"Look Sasuke," Suigetsu begins in a placating tone. "Ino's on your side remember?"

"I'm not so sure." I retort moodily.

"She wouldn't let Sakura run off." Suigetsu says.

"Hn." I reply.

"I prooomiiiseee," Suigetsu sings down the phone. "Hey, thanks for the serenade last night by the way, made my night."

"Shut up." I growl and then hang up.

I pace around my kitchen for a while and then rush back to the phone, punching Ino's digits in. She answers on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Ino!" I almost yell. "What happened last night?"

"Oh! Um..." her voice lowers to an almost whisper. "I'm sorry, things got a little crazy."

"Who's that on the phone?"

I hear a distant voice in the background and I realise that it's Sakura. A little bit of my tension eases. _At least they're together. _

"It's, um, it's Suigetsu," I hear Ino quickly lie and then she speaks to me again. "We'll talk about it when I get home, ok?"

"You need to come to mine." I decide.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Ino replies and then she hangs up.

Where the fuck are they?

* * *

Later on, Ino turns up at my doorstep, wearing an apologetic look on her face. I'm silent as I let her in, but then turn on her.

"Well?" I prompt. "Could you explain to me why last night resulted in me serenading your husband, instead of Sakura?"

Ino looks at me for a few moments before stifling a giggle. "He really enjoyed that you know," she splutters. "Can't stop talking about it,"

I glower at her in response and eventually she coughs.

"Look," she begins. "Last night got a little crazy; Sakura drank a bit too much. I think she was trying to forget the whole mess."

"'Mess'?" I repeat. "It's not a mess! It doesn't have to be a mess! I want to sort it out. I **tried **to sort it out last night."

"I know, I know," Ino soothes. "But last night just went a little askew. We ended up going home to some guy's house."

Silence.

"**What**?" I growl viciously.

Ino looks a little taken aback by the thunder in my eyes, but she answers anyway. "Don't worry Sasuke, nothing happened. I made sure of it. Sakura slept on the sofa and I was always near her-"

"But you still went back with some guy? That you didn't know? What if he was a psychopath?" I rant, feeling more furious than I have in a while.

"He was just a harmless stripper-" Ino tries to butt in, but that just winds me up more.

"**Stripper**?" I repeat. "Holy freaking God," I rub my forehead with my fingers, hiding my face with my hand. "So, what happened? Why did she suddenly go home with this...guy?"

Ino doesn't reply and when I look up at her, she's looking at me with worried admiration and respect.

"What?" I question.

"Nothing, it's just nice to see that you really do appreciate her is all." Ino answers.

"Hn," I huff back, calming down now. "So, she's safe? She's back at yours now?"

"Yes, she's fine," Ino replies. "You don't have to launch into hero time."

I manage to let loose a smirk and then I sigh. "So, what's next then? What can I do now?"

"I think the mall idea would be perfect right now," Ino answers, grinning broadly, but then she pauses, looking thoughtful. "Though maybe not for today, Sakura's pretty much out of it."

"How much did she have to drink?" I question in exasperation.

"Who are you?" Ino scoffs. "Her dad? Look, she's back and she's safe. Now go organise a PDA that'll knock her socks off and bunch her panties up."

I wrinkle my nose.

* * *

"So...what are we doing again?"

I sigh heavily as, for the third time, Naruto questions what we're about to do. For some reason, that I now no longer understand (_thanks past self!) _I've brought Naruto along with me. We're heading to the mall and I'm intending to ask the mall manager about using their huge TV screen for a public declaration of love. Not hard to grasp is it? For Naruto it apparently is.

"Has your car changed?"

Thankfully, Naruto has the attention span of a hyperactive hamster on crack, so I don't have to answer his stupid question again.

"Sakura took the other one." I reply slowly as he glances around.

"Ooh," he breathes in response and then starts playing with the window, making it go up and down.

I glare at him from the side of my eye. Eventually, he notices and stops what he's doing.

"Sorry." He apologises meekly.

"Hn." I respond and then pull into the car park.

As we get out of the car, Naruto stretches and grins widely.

"Yeah, this is awesome!" He cheers. "I've not been to the mall for ages!"

I turn to him as I lock the car, a surprised look on my face. "Really?" I question.

I know it doesn't seem that shocking, but when it comes to Naruto, it is. Naruto **loves **the mall. He loves the arcade, he loves scampering about in the candy store, he loves eating as much as he can from the food arena. The mall is just like one giant playground to him. It used to be that if you couldn't find Naruto at home that meant he was at the mall.

"Yeah," Naruto replies in answer to my question as we begin making our way inside. "Karin insists we shop at all these organic food shops nowadays and she prefers we spend our time together doing...'yoga' instead of window shopping." He pulls a face, scrunching up his nose and shutting his eyes tight.

"Hm," I reply thoughtfully and my memory of Sakura ranting about their marriage remerges to the forefront of my brain. "How are you and Karin?" I question as we head up an escalator.

Naruto turns to me, looking a little surprised. He has every right to be I guess, I don't usually ask questions about other people's lives.

"Uh," he mumbles and looks out over the vast sea of shops and shoppers. "We're...we're doing alright I guess."

"Only alright?" I prompt as we reach the floor I'm aiming for and we begin trudging across it, our shoes squeaking on the linoleum flooring.

"She's just a bit bossy is all," Naruto shrugs, looking sheepish now. "Dattebayo." He adds quietly.

"...Oh," I manage. "Oh, well, I'm sure everything will end up alright."

Naruto looks at me, his eyes wide with hope and trust. "Really? Do you think so Sasuke?"

I clear my throat awkwardly before smiling at him. "Yeah, sure. Why not?" I reply.

"That's great Sasuke!" Naruto cheers like I've just promised to save his relationship single-handily, instead of giving sort of shitty comfort. "You're the best friend ever! Believe it!"

I smile back awkwardly and then we're at the manager's office. We knock and a voice from inside ushers us to come in. Upon entering, we're greeted by a blonde lady with a bored expression and the most humongous breasts I've ever seen in my life.

"Mama." Naruto whispers and I elbow him in the side.

The woman looks at us, her expression still bored. "Yes?" She asks.

"Um," I step forward. "Hi, um, I'm Sasuke Uchiha-"

"And I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto exclaims, stepping forward and thumbing himself in the chest, a proud grin on his face.

The lady looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "You say that like I should know who you are." She states plainly.

Naruto's grin disappears and he shuts his eyes tight. "Stupid old lady," he mutters. "Thinks she's got some power because she's in a crummy little office."

"Right," I mumble before smiling back at the woman. "Yes, so, like I said, I'm Sasuke Uchiha and I'm just here wondering whether you could do me a favour?"

"I bet I could do her job. Really easily. Dattebayo." Naruto continues muttering.

The manager looks at Naruto and then back at me. "What sort of favour?" She questions suspiciously.

"Well." I cough awkwardly. I forgot that I was going to have to explain the situation. Shit. I'm not going to handle this very we-

"Sasuke needs your help to win back the girl he loves!" Naruto announces loudly, snapping out of his funk and smiling at me happily.

The manager looks a bit taken aback and then looks to me. "How do you need my help?" She asks.

"Well, you've got that massive TV screen," I begin. "So I was wondering if-"

"He needs to borrow your huge boo-TV screen to project his love!" Naruto interrupts again.

The woman behind the desk narrows her eyes at Naruto's slip of the tongue, but then looks back to me. "That's sweet," she comments gruffly, nothing in her tone indicating that she actually thought it was sweet. "But I won't be able to do that; customer use of the TV screen is strictly prohibited. It's for official advertisements only."

"...oh." I reply, feeling deflated.

"So, how much are you willing to pay to convince me?"

_Huh? _I look up to see the woman grinning slyly at me.

"In fact, you don't even have to pay me," the lady continues. "Just get me a few bottles of alcohol from that posh store a few doors down and I'll be willing to do **anything** you want."

"J...just the TV screen would be fine." I stammer back.

The woman shrugs and then smirks at me. "The name's Tsunade by the way, but you can call me 'baby'."

"I think I'll leave it at Tsun..." I trail off and then interrupt myself. "So you just want some alcohol and then you'll play ball?"

"That's right," Tsunade stretches and leans back in her chair before moving her hands to indicate we should leave. "Run run little mice, go fetch the cat some milk."

Me and Naruto share a scared look and then exit the office, heading for the alcohol store.

"She had huge boobs." Naruto commented casually as we walked.

I don't reply and stay silent as I buy the alcohol and head back to the office. I feel like an adult buying alcohol for teenagers or something. Once back in the office, I hand the alcohol to Tsunade who grins widely and pops one of the bottles open.

"Great!" She exclaims. "Then your will shall be done!"

"Awesome," I celebrate. "So, tomorrow, my girlfriend-"

"I don't know whether you can call her that right now Sasuke." Naruto butts in, a disapproving look on his face.

I glower at him. "She'll be in the mall. I need to able to get my face on the screen and declare my love for her."

"Easily done," Tsunade responds after glugging down one of the bottles. "Just turn up here early tomorrow."

"Thank you." I say enthusiastically and then Naruto and I exit.

I even reciprocate the high five Naruto offers me. Everything's turning up Sasuke. This is going to go great.

* * *

_AN: Hi again! Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed so far, it means so much to me. You don't even understand :) Also, thanks to the inordinate amount of people who have favourited and followed this story! Drop by and say 'hi' if you want! Thanks guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. _


	5. Boom Boom Pow

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter 5:  
**_Boom Boom Pow  
_

* * *

_In which there are shoe wars and Looney Tune underpants  
_

* * *

Sakura's POV

"La la la la. **La la la laaaaa**!"

"Ugh. Ino!" I complain from under the duvet. It's only five past eight and I was fully expecting a lie in. I grimace as my best friend parades around my current room, seemingly rifling through the cupboards.

"Get up Sakura!" Ino coos in response to my moans. "We're going to the mall."

I stubbornly keep my eyes clenched shut as I reply. "That's great; we'll go to the mall. But can we go **later**? The mall will still be there in the afternoon."

Ino lets out an ear-splitting gasp and I sit up immediately, worried she's found something shocking in my room, though I'm not entirely sure that there **is **something shocking to find. Whatever. I sit up, prepared, just in case. I'm greeted by the sight of Ino staring at me, an outraged look on her face, one hand slapped to her cheek.

"**Sakura**," she scolds. "There is a sale on at the mall right now! Do you really want to miss it?"

I glower back at her suspiciously, not happy about the fact I'm being berated so early in the morning. "What sale?" I counter.

Ino doesn't miss a beat. "'Shoes shoes shoes' is having a sale," she replies, but then she turns her back on me, her arms crossed. "But if you don't want to come with me and share the wonders of sniffing genuine leather shoes, then I shan't force you."

I'm still glaring as I clamber hurriedly out of bed and shove a top and jeans on. "I'm coming," I say decisively. "But I'm not happy about it."

"Oh no, what a martyr." Suigetsu remarks from outside the bedroom.

"Silence Suigetsu." I command.

"This is **my **house." Comes Suigetsu's reply.

Ino rolls her eyes at me. "Nooo it isn't honey." She replies in a placating tone.

Suigetsu doesn't reply, but we hear him grumbling to himself as he descends the stairs.

* * *

Sasuke POV

"Brushed your hair?"

"Yes."

"Shined your shoes?"

"Yes."

"Brushed your teeth?"

"Yes."

"Wearing those absolutely hilarious Looney Tunes boxers your best friend Naruto bought for you?"

"Ye-Wait what? Naruto." I shoot a glare my best friend's way as we continue our way up to Tsunade's office. Again, I have **no **idea why I've brought him.

"What?" He whines back, pouting. "I like those boxers; I bought them for you specially when I went on that trip to Italy."

"That 'trip to Italy' was my eighteenth birthday party," I retort. "And of all the things to buy in Italy, **Florence **for that matter, you bought me boxers."

Naruto grins widely at me. "What are friends for?"

"I do wonder." I mutter through gritted teeth.

Ok. Maybe I'm being a bit unfair on Naruto, but I am **very **stressed. I mean...what if I mess up my lines? Or Sakura just isn't here? Panicking is weird. I do not like panicking.

Naruto obviously senses my unease because he claps a hand on my back and smiles at me. "It's gonna go great buddy; Sakura will be here, you'll declare your undying love, bada-bing bada-boom, you're back together."

I stare at the floor awhile before looking at him. "Can it be that simple?"

"Yup!" Naruto replies happily. "And if it doesn't, you can always have my wife!" Then he breaks in raucous laughter.

"Hn." Is my reply as I recall Karin's...attitude towards me.

We reach Tsunade's office and I knock only to be called in by a different voice altogether. A little startled, Naruto and I share a look and then we enter. We are met by the sight of a grinning guy with billowing white hair.

"Hey!" He greets.

"Hey!" Naruto returns happily.

"Uh..." I say. "Where's Tsunade?"

"She doesn't work Saturdays," Grinning guy replies. "What is it you need?"

"Well..." I glance at Naruto who shrugs. "I had a deal with Tsunade you see-"

"**Ah**." The man interrupts and he gives me a knowing look.

My reply is to give him a strange look before persisting. "Look, she said I could use the TV today, I need to announce my love to my girlfriend."

"Still don't think you should be calling her that right now." Naruto comments from the side of his mouth.

The man behind the desk looks at me for a while and then grins. "You sly dog." He says in a teasing tone.

_Wha? _"What?" I manage.

"Now I have seen some great plays in my life, but declaring your love in front of thousands of people? **Just **to get into some girl's pants?" The guy leaps up and takes my hands in his, pumping them up and down enthusiastically. "You have my respect sir!"

"Who is this guy?" Naruto hisses to me, squinting at the man before us with no small measure of annoyance. "Hey you! Sasuke isn't some man-whore who sleeps around! Believe it! He's trying to wi-"

"I am Jiraiya!" The man suddenly exclaims, cutting Naruto off. "But you may call me the Super Pervy Sage!"

"The Super Pervy whu?" I stare at him in confusion and distaste and quickly snatch my hands out of his grasp.

Jiraiya doesn't seem to mind however as he still smiles at me. "In your efforts to sleep with some hot babe, of **course **I will aid you! When do you need the TV?"

"Ino's going to call me when they arrive," I answer. "So can we go set up now? Be prepared?"

"Hm, yes, of course," Jiraiya nods his head quickly. "Only, the thing is, once you're on, you're on and it's quite complicated to set it up...it might take a while. Would you be prepared to, sort of, pretend to do advertisements until your lady friend arrives? Only I'm not sure I could set it up quickly enough otherwise."

Naruto and I share a look.

"Don't you have any technicians?" I demand an aggravated tone to my grasp. Sakura might not exactly take me seriously if the first thing she sees when she comes into the mall is me and Naruto advertising jumbo jelly bean packs on a huge TV screen.

Jiraiya shuffles under my murderous look. "It's part of my job to know how to work the TV." He explains.

"Then why don't you know how to?" Naruto questions, genuinely curious.

"Because he's crap at his job, that's why." I hiss through gritted teeth.

"Hey!" Jiraiya exclaims indignantly. "No I'm not! Look, just cut me a break ok? Do this for me and I'll do what you want, for you."

He gazes at Naruto and I expectantly as we share a look and then I sigh heavily.

"Fine," I relent. "But this better work out perfectly."

"Oh it will, it will!" Jiraiya assures me as he ushers us out of the office.

* * *

Sakura POV

Sales are mad at the best of times...when **shoes **get involved, well...

I gulp as Ino and I take in the sight of a hundreds of women rushing about inside Shoes shoes shoes. It certainly is 'Shoes shoes shoes' right now. As we watch, a pair of silver stilettos go flying through the air only to be caught by an aggressive purple-haired lady.

"You weren't lying about that sale..." I mutter, eyes leaving the carnage before us and flicking to Ino.

Ino drags her eyes away from the, dead, giant TV, situated in the top left corner of the mall, visible to all, and smiles at me.

"Why would I be lying about anything?" She questions. "Sales are very serious things. Now, shall we go in?" She ushers me inside the shop, texting frantically on her phone.

* * *

Sasuke POV

"What are you **doing**?" I demand as Jiraiya hastily tries to connect another two wires together.

Ino and Sakura arrived almost twenty minutes ago and Jiraiya **still **hasn't got the TV working. Suddenly my phone chings. With a feeling of trepidation and dread, I look at the text and...yup, another text from Ino.

**What the hell is going on Uchiha? We're here! Get on with the message! **

Hastily, I text back.

**Bit of a mix up. Just make sure she stays in the mall! **

Ino's reply is immediate:

**There's no worries about that! I'm just worried that she'll be too distracted shoe shopping to even spare a glance your way! **

_Crap_. Just as I'm mentally hanging myself, Jiraiya claps his hands together enthusiastically.

"There we go!" He announces. "Go ahead!"

"Go on Sasuke!" Naruto cheers, dripping ice cream everywhere (I have no idea where he got that ice cream from).

* * *

Sakura's POV

Inside the shop, the madness is even more evident. I yelp and duck as an old lady comes careering towards me, holding a pair of mock crocodile boots, a girl with four bunches hot on her heels.

"Holy crap Ino!" I shout as my blonde friend comes into view, **finally**. "I need your help in these sorts of situations! You know that!"

"I know!" She calls back, making her way over to me. "Sorry! Hey, do you want to go watch the big TV for a bit?"

_What? _I shoot her a weird look as I answer. "Why would I want to do that?" I question. "All it is is adverts."

"Not always!" Ino retorts, glancing over at the TV, which seems to be flickering...

* * *

Sasuke POV

"Oops, awh, I thought I had it!" Jiraiya complains as he busily, and haphazardly, fiddles with wires.

Naruto, licking his ice cream and watching the transmission as it goes out, winces. "Sasuke, your face just keeps appearing and then disappearing. It's kinda creepy."

"Hey." I shoot back.

"Plus, when you tried to say 'Sakura' earlier? It came out like 'shit'."

"It didn't," Jiraiya shoots up and winces. "Shit," he complains before letting out a yelp of happiness. "Ok, I've got it working again!" He exclaims.

"Seriously?" I check.

"Yeah, yeah," he nods his head and picks up the sound mic. "Go! Start from the beginning."

"You're on Sasuke! I can see you!" Naruto announces happily, pointing at the mini screen in front of him.

_Great. _I breathe in deeply and then smile, beseechingly, at the camera. "Sakura-"

I'm cut off when Jiraiya roars 'Shit!' loudly and the boom mic comes swinging towards me, hitting me in the head and sending me staggering backwards into a pile of boxers containing stereos. Everything goes black.

* * *

Sakura POV

"Sakura, Sakura!" Ino squeals excitedly, grabbing my forearm and jumping up and down.

"What?" I question, spinning towards her.

Ino points at the big TV screen that is currently...still showing nothing.

"What?" I repeat, squinting outwards.

"Shit." Ino says instead of replying and then begins busily texting.

I roll my eyes at her and then jump backwards in order to avoid a screaming woman hurtling through the shop with many pairs of shoes.

"Sakura!"

I turn at the sound of my name and I'm faced by Karin, a big grin on her face.

"Karin!" I exclaim, rushing to her and giving her a hug. Earning a few suspicious looks off other women who hold their shoes out of my reach.

"How are you babe?" Karin questions once we're out of the hug. "I heard what happened, just terrible."

"Oh," I stall, a little stunned. "Um, yeah. Still sort of trying to figure out what we're doing...I guess."

"I know the feeling." Karin says and then she sighs sadly.

"You do?" I murmur. "Oh Karin, you're not having troubles with Naruto are you?"

If she is having troubles with Naruto, I feel pretty bad. I, after all, set them up. Did the introducing, all that lark.

"Oh it's nothing," she replies and then she sniffs once or twice. "Nothing. At. **AAAALLLLLLLL**!" And suddenly she's weeping furiously, her nose running all over.

Behind me, Ino winces.

"Karin! Sweetie!" I exclaim, grabbing her into my arms and bundling her out of the shop.

Ino trots after, looking despondent.

"I can tell he...he...he doesn't love me anymore!" Karin continues as I seat her on a bench and wrap my arm around her.

"Oh, that isn't true!" I reply caringly, I look to Ino. "Right Ino?"

"Huh?" My blonde friend rips her eyes away from the TV screen and back to me and the sobbing mess that is Karin. "Uh. Yeah. No, no way." She agrees.

"He...he...he thinks I'm boring!" Karin sobs.

"Nooo." I placate.

Karin buries her head on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry about you and Sasuke, Sakura. He sounded really sad when I last spoke to him."

I stiffen slightly. "When...when did you speak to him?" I question.

"The...the other night," Karin sits up and looks at me. "I could tell he wanted me to come round, but I didn't," she nods her head furiously. "Of course I didn't."

"Wanted you to 'come round'?" Ino remarks, an eyebrow raised as she looks down on us.

"Yes." Karin affirms, nodding her head.

"Sakura, may I have a word?" Ino picks me up and moves me away from Karin. Once we're out of earshot, she begins. "Now Sakura, don't you trust that woman."

"**What**?" I exclaim incredulously. "Karin's a good friend! Of course I trust her."

"Do not trust her on any matters to do with Sasuke. That girl wants him. I can see it in her power mad eyes."

We both look over to see Karin staring soulfully at the fights going on in Shoes shoes shoes. I turn a glower onto Ino.

"...right." I say.

"I mean it Sakura!" Ino explodes.

"Ino!" I interrupt. "I get it, but...she's put something into my head. What if...what if he said what he said because...because there's another woman?"

Ino stares at me, mouth agape and then starts chuckling.

"What're you laughing about?" I storm.

"That's just ridiculous is all," Ino says, smiling. "Look, Sasuke made a stupid mistake and he said a stupid thing, but I can tell he still loves you."

"Along with hating me." I mumble, feeling a prick of sadness in my heart.

"Look," Ino puts her arm around me and clunks her head against mine. "I have every faith that Sasuke is working on the biggest and best apology you could ever expect. Trust me."

I sigh, but I feel a little bit more relaxed. "Not Sasuke," I say, smiling ruefully. "He would never do anything huge to say sorry. It'll be a sorry in person and some flowers...if I'm lucky."

* * *

_AN: Yo! Thank you for all your reviews and favourites! It means a lot! Keep on chugging.  
_


	6. Concussion and heartbreak

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter 6:  
**_Concussion and heartbreak  
_

* * *

_In which numerous people feel pain.  
_

* * *

Sasuke POV

"Uuh…"

"Hey! He's waking up! Oi Pervy Sage! Sasuke's waking up!"

"That's **Super **Pervy Sage," I hear Jiraiya shoot back, and then I hear his voice closer to me. "Sasuke? How are you feeling?"

_Ow, my head is __**banging**__. _Slowly I open my eyes only to see Jiraiya and Naruto looming over me. I go to flinch and move away, but my body reacts too slowly. _Damn I'm feeling tired. _Vaguely aware that I probably have concussion, I move to sit up. Neither Naruto nor Jiraiya try to stop me from doing so, cementing the fact that both of them are imebeciles of the highest degree.

"Whe…where's Sakura?" I mumble. My voice sounds like it's on the other end of a tunnel or something.

"I'll check!" Naruto reports before tapping away efficiently at his phone.

"Where am **I**?" I question after a few moments.

"Still in the recording room buddy," Jiraiya reports. "You got hit in the head with a boom mic and fell to the floor. You were knocked straight out!" The older man starts laughing and I attempt to give him an incredulous look.

I mean, who laughs at someone being knocked out?

"Sakura's still in the mall Sas." Naruto says, coming up behind Jiriaya and looking down at me.

"…oh," I reply dumbly. "Um, hey Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I go to the hospital please?"

"What's at the hospital?" Naruto returns, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

A **bed **and medically trained professionals who will be able to tell I have concussion.

"Nothing's at the hospital," I reply steadily. "I just think I should go there."

Naruto and Jiriaya share a look (absolute **dumbasses**), but then they shrug and Jiriaya sticks out a hand for me to grab. I gingerly take it and am then swooped up onto my feet. My head rushes and I barely balance myself, having to grab onto Jiraiya for support.

"Hm, Sasuke?" He mutters, glancing down at me, his brow furrowed. "You don't look too good. Is something up?"

I stare at the floor for a while before rewarding Jiraiya's question with an angry piercing glare. Jiriaya gulps and then looks over to Naruto.

"Hey Naruto, I think something's up with Sasuke." He informs.

"Oh," Naruto returns a bewildered look on his face. "Ok. We'll get him into the car."

Then the pair of them begin guiding me out of the room and into the main shopping mall. I blink as the florescent lights hit my tender eyeballs and then sag more into Jiraiya. We make our way to the escalator and making good progress until I nearly go careering down the steps. Yelping, Naruto grabs me and pulls me back.

"Ow." I moan quietly.

"Sh," Naruto placates. "We're almost do-oh shit."

For a second my senses come back and I look over at where Naruto is looking. In the crowds of people, just coming out of a clothes shop, is Ino and Sakura.

"Aaah Naruto." I wail minutely, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I know, I know," he returns, glancing around frantically. "Jiraiya, we need you to go distract those two girls."

"Which two-?" The man follows Naruto's pointed finger and then a nasty grin explodes onto his face. "**Those **two girls? My **pleasure**!" He exclaims.

"Hey," I hiss drearily. "One of those two girls is my girlfriend."

"Not really at the moment though." Naruto disregards.

"I'm on it." Jiraiya decides and then he leaps over the banister (thankfully we were close to the ground) and rushes over to Ino and Sakura.

* * *

Sakura's POV

"That skirt is really cute; I think it's a seriously good steal. I mean seventeen dolla-"

"**Hello**!"

Both I and Ino stop in our tracks and Ino stops talking as a tall man with white hair explodes into our presence, a big grin on his face.

"Uh…" Ino glances at me. "Hello." She returns before mouthing 'Psycho' at me.

I look back to the man unsurely.

"I was wondering if you two lovely ladies," he glances over his shoulder and then looks back to us. "Would be willing to take part in a survey?"

Ino looks at me again and then she shrugs. "What on?"

"On…on lots of things," the man replies. "You get free tokens for," he glances over our heads at the store behind us. "_The skirt shop_ if you partake in this survey!"

Ino's eyes light up. "Really?" she gushes.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Really." The man in front of us affirms solemnly.

"Cool!" Ino exclaims. "Go ahead!"

"Great!" Survey man declares. "Ok then. What are your names?"

"I'm Ino and that's Sakura."

I stay silent, sceptical.

"Ok then," Survey man looks at me. "Sakura! Thong or normal everyday panties?"

"**What**?" I exclaim back. "What sort of question is tha-?"

"**Sakura**," Ino interrupts. "Free tokens!"

I close my mouth and grit my teeth together, glowering up at the, now grinning, man. "N…normal panties, I guess." I return.

"Right!" Survey man exclaims happily. "Ino then, stilettos or flat shoes?"

Ino smiles. "Stilettos!" She replies happily.

"Ooh," Survey man nods in approval and then looks back to me. "Now, are you wearing skin coloured pantyhose or not? The people want to know."

I stare back at him incredulously and then shake my head furiously. "You're just a pervert!" I explode.

"**Sakura**!" Ino scolds frantically.

"No! He's a pervert! I'm leaving. Come on Ino!" And then I begin stomping away. I hear Ino apologise behind me and then she runs to catch up.

However, she's not the only one running, Survey man is coming after us! Shouting our names frantically.

"Oh my God he's a psycho!" I yelp.

Ino's eyes are as wide as mine and then we both take off running. Sprinting for the exit as the pervy loon behind us yells our names. I'm just about to explode out of the doors when I see him…Sasuke. He's arm in arm with Naruto and he's leaving the mall.

"Oh." I murmur.

"Noooooo!" Survey man screams and then I hear a massive crash behind me.

I turn only to see Survey man falling over some old lady's zimmer frame before careering into a stall selling cakes. There's a huge kerfuffle and then I turn back to look at Sasuke, he's looking at me. My heart does a number of little flips and I feel a lump form in my throat. Those dark, never-ending eyes of his, always seeming so full of secrets. Then he raises a pale hand and waves. Weakly, I wave back.

"Sakura?" Ino says questioningly and then she follows my gaze over to Sasuke. "Why don't you go over and talk to him?" She asks as Survey man moans in the background.

"I…Will you come with me?" I mutter.

Ino smiles fondly at me. "Of course." She utters and then we walk over to Sasuke and Naruto.

Naruto fixes Ino and I with a scared look and I can't help but glare at him as I remember Karin's words, but then I fixate my attention onto Sasuke.

"He…hello." I murmur.

"Hello." He returns, his voice soft.

"How have you been?" I question.

His response is to let his head fall forward, his eyes shutting briefly as if he's tired. Naruto shakes him and he opens his eyes again. I feel a rush of distaste and anger…and hurt.

"Boring you am I?" I say angrily.

Sasuke's eyes flutter and then he lets out a soft moan.

"What's wrong with him?" Ino asks, directing the question at Naruto who stiffens, his eyes wide.

"Nothing's wrong with him." He returns defensively.

"I'm fine." Sasuke intones.

"What, so you're just being rude to me deliberately then?" I question angrily.

Sasuke stares at me helplessly. "I…"

"I can't believe you," I hiss. "If this were the other way around, the first word I'd have said to you is 'sorry'-"

"Sorr-"

I don't let him finish. "But then again, it **never **would be the other way around, would it? Because I would never be that cruel to you." Hot tears make their way into my eyes and the world seems to swirl. "Come on Ino." I instruct, my voice high and then I depart, pushing past Naruto.

The last thing I hear is Survey man.

"I am in desperate need of medical assistance!"


	7. Dates and bad mates

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter 7:  
**_Dates and bad mates_

* * *

_In which Sakura agrees to something she maybe shouldn't…  
_

* * *

Sasuke POV

"**SASUKE**!"

An inhuman sounding roar from the hallway. I wince; I knew I shouldn't have let Naruto get the door. Now demons are entering my home…great.

"Sasuke!"

Oh no, just Ino. I look up when the blonde appears in the doorway, her face thunderous.

"Hello Ino." I greet calmly, wincing slightly as my head twinges.

"'Hello Ino'," she mocks, wrinkling her nose.

"Sorry Sasuke," Naruto pops up behind her. "I wouldn't have let her in if I knew she was planning on verbally attacking you."

"You go away," Ino instructs angrily, turning on my blond friend. "Shoo," she makes shooing motions with her hands and, for some reason, this works. Naruto leaves the room, shooting me a forlorn look as he does so. Once he's gone, Ino turns back to me. "What was with that crap you pulled back there?" She demands. "You had the perfect opportunity to apologise to Sakura and all you did was sway on your feet like a zombie!"

"Ugh," I pull myself up slightly and then fix her with a look. "I have a concussion Ino," I retort. "I was trying to **avoid **Sakura seeing me. I was trying to get to the hospital. Jiraiya was supposed to distract you."

Ino stalls, her mouth hanging open for a few moments. "…oh," she mutters and then, "Jiraiya? You mean that creepy survey guy?"

"Creepy yes," I concur. "Survey? I have no idea."

"He was asking us weird questions about our panties and stuff."

"Then I can confirm that was Jiraiya."

We stay in silence for a while and then Ino comes and sits down next to me on the sofa, an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry Sasuke, I didn't know."

"It's ok." I reply.

"But…um…" She glances down at her knees before looking back up at me. "You really upset Sakura,"

I groan loudly and throw my head back, despite the massive pain it causes to my head.

"And I probably didn't help," Ino continues, her voice small. "Because I, sorta, went into 'supportive bitchy best friend mode' and got really angry with her."

I turn to look at her. "Thank you so much Ino." I say sarcastically.

"Hey!" She retorts, looking indignant. "From what we could tell, you were just being rude! And Naruto's exclamation that you were fine didn't help!"

"Sorry!" Comes Naruto's voice from the kitchen. _I have no doubt he is making himself a sandwich right now. _

"So anyway…" Ino trails off and then gazes at me. "You might wanna start planning a big PDA right about now."

"But what can I do?" I demand. "Everything I do seems to go wrong!"

"Ha." Naruto chuckles from the kitchen.

_What a supportive best friend I have. _

"You can shut up Naruto, we know about your wife," Ino calls back. "And we'll be getting to that later. Once we've sorted Sakura and Sasuke out."

A low whine sounds from the kitchen.

"**How **are we sorting Sakura and I out?" I question.

"**Well**," Ino whips out a folder from her bag, smiling slyly.

"You carry that around with you?" I ask.

Ino doesn't reply and instead starts flipping through her book. "I've got a few ideas for you. It all depends on whether Sakura goes out or not tonight."

* * *

Sakura POV

_Stupid fat…well he's not fat is he? No not really. In fact he's got really nice abs. So um…stupid ugly…well that's just a lie isn't it? He's gorgeous. It's like Zeus moulded his face out of Olympus marble. Well then what? Stupid…__**unemotional **_(I nod happily to myself at my brilliance) _Sasuke, being a stupid unemotional sack of shit. _

I'm sat, moodily, in my office; flicking a pencil around on my desk. I feel so abandoned. Not even Konohomaru is here, pretending he's got herpes or something. I sigh forlornly and place my head in my arms and then I hear a shuffle at my doorway. I look up immediately, only to be met by the sight of Rock-Lee.

"Hello Sakura." He greets.

"**Rock**-**Lee**!" I reply with way more enthusiasm than can be deemed normal. I leap up and meet him at the doorway, smiling happily. "How **are **you?"

If Rock-Lee is put off by my out of character antics, he doesn't show it. Instead, he responds in kind. "I am well Sakura!" He exclaims. "How are you?"

"I'm great!" I lie.

"That is wonderful," Rock-Lee returns. "The fountain of youth is still strong within you; treating everyday like it is your last means you will live a fulfilled life. Yah!" He kicks at the wall and I just nod three times, acting like I understood what he just said.

"…yeah!" I concur after a while. "So, um, Rock-Lee?"

"Sakura!" He interrupts, suddenly grasping one of my hands and getting down on his knees. "I have come here with an ulterior motive, other than simply chatting to you about the wonders of youth!"

_Oh really_? This is honestly nothing new. Rock-Lee has regularly asked me out, every week, since I came to this school. Only thing is, I've always had a boyfriend…_But I don't now_. I look down at the man before me with renewed interest.

"Yes?" I prompt.

"I was wondering! Whether you would like to accompany me," his face goes extremely red. "On a date to a restaurant!"

Without even thinking, I answer. "Sure! Why not?"

Rock-Lee's brow crumples immediately. "I understand I'll leave you in-wha?" He stops short and jumps to his feet, looking outstanded. "**Really**?"

"Yeah sure, why not?" I repeat. "I've got nothing better to do."

Rock-Lee's smile nearly splits his face. "This is wonderful! Gai Sensei will be so pleased!"

"You mean the janitor?" I question, but he doesn't respond instead leaping up happily.

"This is great!" He cheers. "I will pick you up at eight from your house!"

"Um, actually," I interrupt. "I'm staying at a friend's right now. I'll give you directions-"

"No need!" He interrupts. "I am sure I'll be able to find you! What is the name of your friend?"

"Ino," I answer. "But I don't see how you'd know he-"

"I have seen you visit her many times!" He exclaims. "I know where to find you."

"You've 'seen me visit her'?" I repeat, feeling a swell of confusion and creeped outness (real word) come over me.

He doesn't reply however and instead skips off, but not before blowing me a kiss and a wink. _Crap…what have I got myself into?_

* * *

_AN: Thank you to the people who have been reviewing! It means so much. Sorry that I've not been updating very rapidly. I just find myself very disillusioned, at times, with this story. Also, I got Resident Evil 6 so yeah… _


	8. Fun fun fun!

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter 8:  
**_Fun fun fun!  
_

* * *

_In which utter stress is caused.  
_

* * *

Sasuke POV 

**Ring ring. Ring ring. **_Ugh, I hate that phone_. Sighing loudly, I fumble about for my mobile. I was sleeping soundly on my sofa a few seconds ago, Naruto playing Mario Kart and yelling excitedly, and now I'm ripped from my slumber by that infernal ringing.

"What?" I growl down the phone, not bothering to check who I'm talking to. _Oh shit, it could be Sakura. _"Hello?" I try instead, making my voice brighter.

"That's what I thought."

_Oh, just Ino. _"Oh, it's you." I grunt, sitting up properly.

"Who else would it be?" Ino replies. "Your girlfriend hates you and your only other friend is Naruto, and I am one hundred per cent sure that he's probably still round your house, shirking his duties as a husband."

I glance at Naruto. "Yeah, he is," I return. "But, hey! Suigetsu's my friend too."

"Ah, but Suigetsu has been informed, by me, not to interact with you during this moment in time because he knows that I am ringing you."

I stay silent for a moment before replying. "Yeah, but I wouldn't know that would I? So it's not that out of order for me to perhaps presume that it-"

"Hush hush hush," She tuts over me. "I have news."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup. It turns out that Sakura **is **going out tonight."

"Really? Where?"

"Hmm, that's the thing, she wouldn't say."

I frown. "Well then how am I going to display my love to her if we don't know where she is?"

Ino tuts again. "We'll jump that hurdle when we come to it. **Now**, the more important part is deciding what you should **do**."

* * *

Sakura POV

I check my phone again, 19:45. I glance at the door. Opposite me, on the sofa, Suigetsu watches me, an eyebrow raised.

"Waiting for somebody important?" He questions.

"Oh!" I reply, my voice stupidly high as I turn an insane smile upon him. "No, no! Just an…an old girlfriend, you know."

His other eyebrow rises to be equal with its counterpart. "Right." He says, obviously not convinced in the slightest.

I smile nervously at him and then glance around. "What's Ino doing again?"

"Business." Suigetsu replies promptly, his eyes narrowed as he examines my face.

"What sort of business is that the-" The doorbell goes. Letting out a half human sounding shriek, I jump to my feet and rush to the door.

Suigetsu also rises, a determined look on his face. Thankfully, I reach the door before he gets into the hallway, and I rush outside, slamming the door behind me.

"Sakura! Hello!" Rock-Lee bellows as I push him away from the house, hurrying to be as far away as possible. I **know** that if Suigetsu sees me with Rock-Lee, he'll tell Ino, and I know Ino will try and convince me not to go. Or worse, Suigetsu will tell Sasuke that I'm going out with Rock-Lee. _Well, would that be worse? _I don't even know why I'm going on this date. Do I really not want to be with Sasuke, ever again? I shake my head, not wanting to think about it all and continue pushing Rock-Lee along, away from the house.

* * *

Sasuke POV

"So that's the plan ok? It's going to be great!" Ino's voice goes really high at the end and she lets out a little high-pitched giggle.

I'm just about to reply when Ino starts talking to someone else in the room, obviously Suigetsu.

"What's that?" I hear her say, and then, "**WHAT**?" And then, "Oh that bloody foolish girl. Stupid poop brain! I knew I should have talked to her! She needs to stop jumping to conclusions and rushing into things!"

"What's going on?" I question, my voice almost frantic.

"Sakura's gone off somewhere with Rock-Lee." Ino replies.

"Rock who?" I reply, bewildered.

"Rock-Lee's a workmate of hers at school," Ino informs me patiently. "And he's been interested in her for ages."

"**What**?"

"She doesn't even like him!" Ino wails. "I'm just worried that because she's feeling so hurt, she might do something she might regret…something that might end up hurting…"

"Hurting me," I finish her sentence. "Shit. What do we do?"

"Well we need to find her obviously! If there was ever a time for a PDA, **now **is that time." Ino replies.

"But how will we find her?" I ask. "We don't know where she's gone."

Naruto pauses Mario Kart and turns to look at me. "What's happening buddy?" He asks.

"Sakura's gone off on a date with some guy that she doesn't even like and Ino reckons it's because she's feeling upset and now Ino's worried that Sakura will end up doing something that she regrets." I say, all in one breath.

Naruto stares at me, his eyes slightly enlarged. "…shit." He comments.

I give him a deadpan look and then listen as Ino talks to Suigetsu and then addresses me again. "Suigetsu says they went really quickly, he's got no idea what direction they went in." She informs me.

"**Crap**." I moan.

"What's happening Sasuke? Maybe I can help." Naruto offers, turning fully to look at me.

"How on earth could you help?" I hiss. "You know about as much about this Rock-Lee guy as I do."

Naruto rolls his eyes and then snatches my phone off me, putting it on loud speaker before addressing Ino. "Ino, can you give me a general description of this Rock-Lee guy's personality?"

"Eeer," Ino mumbles in response. "I guess. He's awkward, overly enthusiastic, desperate for love, a little creepy…"

"He'll have taken her to Pizza pizza pizza." Naruto decides.

"What are you basing that on?" I question.

"Well…that's basically what I used to be like when I was younger," Naruto explains. "And if I ever managed to convince a girl to go out with me, I always used to take them to Pizza pizza pizza."

Ino, Suigetsu and I are all silent and then I eventually manage to speak. "…why?"

"Cheap, easy, and fun fun fun!" Naruto replies, ticking off the reasons on his fingers.

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Well," Ino mumbles from over the phone. "I guess if that's all we have…"

"Let's go to Pizza pizza pizza!" Suigetsu cheers.

* * *

_AN: Thanks guys for the reviews and favourites. I'm not having as much fun writing this as I would have presumed, but I promise I'll finish it! _


	9. Decisions

Oxymorons don't work in relationships  
**Chapter** **9:**  
_Decisions _

* * *

_In which decisions are not made about food, but are about love_

* * *

Sakura's POV

"And here we are!"

The taxi pulls up and I look out of the window. The building we've stopped outside looks like a clown's wet dream or something. The whole of the outside is painted an extremely off-putting purple. A huge neon sign hangs down from the top of the building, exclaiming: 'Pizza pizza pizza!' and a huge pizza (in case we didn't get that there's pizza here) adorns the roof of the place, standing up like some bloody party hat. I feel a wave of dread overtake me.

Rock-Lee quickly whips out of the car and pays the taxi driver before heading over to my door to let me out.

"Lee," I murmur as he opens the door. "What is this place?"

Rock-Lee looks at me and then looks back to Pizza pizza pizza. "Why it's Pizza pizza pizza Sakura! The finest eating establishment…ever!"

"Lofty statement," I grimace as I get out of the car, ignoring Rock-Lee's helping hands. "Lee, I thought we were going somewhere more…you know, **fancy**?" I gesture down at my tight black dress and killer heels.

Rock-Lee's brow crumples and he cocks his head. "I am sorry Sakura, but I do not have a lot of money at the moment! I'm saving up for a gym membership!"

I stare at him in disbelief. "…oh." I manage.

He smiles and then sticks out his arm for me to link. "Now, shall we go?"

Holding in a sigh (_he's trying to be nice afterall_) I manage to gift the man with a smile before linking arms with him, and then we begin making our way to the restaurant.

* * *

Sasuke's POV

BEEP BEEP.

"They're here!" I jump to my feet and begin pulling on my jacket hastily. "Naruto, they're here."

Naruto nods his head, his eyes still fixed on the TV. "Let me just finish this lap." He says, his tongue sticking out with concentration.

"There's no time Naruto," I hiss, shoving him. "In what world is your stupid Mario more important than Sakura?"

Naruto pouts, but doesn't take his eyes away from the game. "In Princess Peach's world," he retorts.

Grumbling I lean down and rip the TV cable out of its socket. Naruto leaps up in horror and gives me a look of pure hurt.

"**Sasuke**!" He yelps.

"Shut up," I return before grabbing him and dragging him along with me as I head for the front door. "We've got to get going."

"Alright already!" Naruto says, yanking himself free. "I can walk you know!"

I glower at him from the side of my eye before I rip open the front door. Outside, in **my **car, sits Suigetsu and Ino. Ino has a look of pure concentration on her face, while Suigetsu's grinning.

"Let's go save your doomed relationship bruvva!" He yells.

I glower at him as I make my way to the car. "It's not doomed." I return.

Suigetsu shrugs and then, once we're all in, begins to back out of the drive. A ball of tension begins to form in my stomach. _How is all of this going to go down?_

* * *

Sakura's POV

"Mummy, why is the queen here?"

"That's not the queen darling, that's just some girl who thinks she's better than all of us."

Pulling an incredulous face, I slump down further in my seat. Who knew that –**accidentally**- overdressing would cause such a stir? All I've had since I've entered the restaurant is comments and stares (and a lot of glares.)

"So, Sakura! What do you think you'll order?"

I pick up the menu with one hand, only taking in the word 'pizza'.

"Is there really much choice? Pizza." I reply, placing my chin in my hand.

"But what sort of pizza?" Rock-Lee returns enthusiastically. "There's so many different types! That's part of the fun fun fun!"

I stare down at the cutlery, wondering how much it would actually hurt to try and take out my jugular with a butter knife.

* * *

Sasuke's POV

"So here's the plan," Ino whips out a mess of papers as Suigetsu swerves dangerously to avoid hitting a woman on a bicycle.

"Suigetsu," I growl. "Could you be more careful with **my** car please?"

Suigetsu spins the wheel and then flips a grin over his shoulder at me. "Sure!" He returns.

"Hn." I mutter moodily.

Ino throws a piece of paper at my face. "Are you listening dickwad?" She demands.

"Jeez!" I retort. "Yes."

"Right, your entrance into the restaurant is going to have to be as dramatic as possible," she begins.

"Wh-"

"Having some people with you will definitely add to the drama. That's why Naruto and Suigetsu are going to go in with you."

"Why not you as well?" Naruto questions.

"Because Sakura will try to slit my throat with a butter knife if she realises that I'm helping her scummy boyfriend." Ino answers.

"You're so kind to me Ino." I sigh.

"I know," she replies, smiling brightly at me. "**Now**," she flicks through her papers, scanning them quickly. "What are you going to say to her?"

"Uh…I'm sorry?" I try.

Ino glowers at me and Suigetsu shakes his head.

"Sasuke." He reprimands.

"I don't know what I'm going to say!" I exclaim. "I was thinking I could maybe just…let it all come out?"

"Hmm," Ino strokes her chin. "That's a very daring tactic…only the most charismatic can get away with that."

"Sasuke's got the charisma of a one eyed chimp named Gertrude." Suigetsu throws helpfully over his shoulder.

"Hey," I retort. "Look Ino," I turn to look at the blonde. "I know you think I can't handle this…but I **know** I can. I love Sakura way too much to let her go…I'll manage it. I swear."

Ino regards me thoughtfully, and there is silence in the car, until Naruto speaks up.

"I can always help him out as well," he adds. "Sasuke, you could say something like…'my passion for you burns hotter than a million suns'."

We all sit in silence and then Ino smiles brightly. "Naruto that was beautiful. Sasuke, you've definitely got to say that!"

I sigh just as the car parks up.

* * *

Sakura's POV

"Have you still not decided what you want to order?" Rock-Lee gazes at me with concerned eyes.

"I said what I wanted!" I return moodily. "**Pizza**."

"You need help," Rock-Lee declares.

_Oh that's ni-_

"Waiters! We need help!"

"Wha?" I question because suddenly Rock-Lee and I are surrounded by around ten smiling waiters…one of them holding a guitar. "Oh n-"

But it's too late…they begin singing.

"Oh little girl, you can't decide what you wanna order."

"Oooh."

"Oh little girl, you don't know what you wanna eat."

Rock-Lee starts clapping and I hit my head on the table. Willing the bastards to go away.

"Well, we're here to help you!"

I look up.

"We have pizza! We have pizza! We have pizza pizza pizzzaaa!"

"I know!" I yelp incredulously.

The waiters don't listen however. "Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizz-"

"Stop the song!"

Wait a minute…I know that voice. I look over the waiter's shoulders only to see Sasuke, Suigetsu and Naruto strolling purposefully towards us.

"Sasuke?" I exclaim, getting to my feet.

Rock-Lee opens his eyes and glances round in shock. "Wh-what's going on Sakura?" He asks.

"This is what's going on buddy." Naruto roars before I can react and then he punches Lee straight in the mouth, knocking the poor man out immediately.

"Naruto!" Sasuke and I screech in unison.

"What did you do that for?" I yelp, as everyone in the restaurant turns to look and the waiters back away fearfully.

"Uh," Naruto flinches under my gaze. "I…I got caught up in the moment I guess. I'm sorry."

"What 'moment'?" I question. "What's going on?"

"Uh…Sakura."

I move my eyes towards Sasuke and I try to stop my gaze softening.

"What," I question dangerously. "Do **you** want?"

Sasuke squirms a little, but then he straightens himself up. "Sakura, I've come here to apologise to you and to also beg for your forgiveness,"

My eyes widen.

"Sakura, I don't know why I said what I said to you…well; actually, I guess I do. It's because I'm a jerk. We've been together so long, you'd have thought I'd have got over my ego, but I guess I haven't. I still find it so hard to wrap my head around…that…that you make me so crazy. You make me strong, but at the same time…you make me weak. And that's not a bad thing, that's what you need. I need someone who can get through to me, but at the same time hold me up. But I'm stupid about crap like this and I hate the idea of needing to be helped, you know that. And all the way through our relationship I've just been this stoic jerk who never treated you right, who acted like you were a nuisance when really you're the only thing that makes me happy. I…I never ever intended to take you for granted Sakura. Honestly, in my head, each day, I would think about how lucky I was to have you. And now I've found out that I can barely…function without you. I just…I really hope you can forgive me."

My heart beats wildly; I stare at him in absolute shock. A mess of emotions swims around in my head. The whole restaurant is silent. My breath comes out raggedy.

"Also," Naruto steps forward. "His passion for you burns hotter than a thousand suns."

A woman at a table nearby swoons and faints.

"Uh," Sasuke nods at Naruto. "Yeah…and that."

There's another long silence and I know that I'm making him wait. I can see how nervous he is. He fidgets slightly and gulps, his eyebrows pulled into a nervous frown. Sasuke Uchiha just put every single one of his emotions on a plate for me…what do I do now?

"Uh…" Rock-Lee blearily opens his eyes.

Suddenly my feet are moving I walk towards Sasuke steadily, tears filling in my eyes as I reach him.

"That's all I ever needed to hear," I whisper. "You absolute bonehead." I smack him around the head before drawing him in for a kiss.

An 'aww' echoes around the restaurant. We pull away and I stare tearfully into his eyes.

"I love you Sakura." He whispers.

"I love you too." I murmur.

We hug and then I turn to look at Naruto. "And now for **you**." I growl.

Naruto gulps.

* * *

_AN: Yay, Sasuke and Sakura are together again! But the story isn't over yet._


End file.
